In yesterday's post I may have inadvertently given the impression that Rupert Murdoch is somehow comparable to the evil Emperor Palpatine from the Star Wars series of films. This is of course a scurrilous and entirely inaccurate misrepresentation and I am happy to retract it. I am also happy to clarify that Mr Murdoch cannot – either now or at any point in the past – fire lightning bolts from his fingers, and that the geostationary satellite which broadcasts Sky News bears no resemblance – in either design or hitherto unused functionality – to a Death Star.
Furthermore, Rupert Murdoch is clearly a man of "unblemished character"; why else would Pope John Paul II have bestowed a papal knighthood on him in 1998 despite his not being a Catholic? Only a cynic would suggest that it had something to do with the large sums of money he donated to the Catholic Church. The Vatican, with its long history of infallibility in all matters, would certainly never associate itself with a man like Murdoch if they had even the slightest doubt as to his probity and integrity.
Indeed, if Mr Murdoch was anything like Palpatine, he wouldn't need to hack into the phones of his enemies – he could simply read their thoughts using the dark side of the Force.